


Rise Above the Grey

by mallardeer



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-04
Updated: 2017-04-20
Packaged: 2018-10-14 22:56:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 15,868
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10545760
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mallardeer/pseuds/mallardeer
Summary: Kara Danvers is a well-liked student athlete half-way through her sophomore year in high school. Lena Luthor is not well-liked at all, but Kara has somehow chosen her as her best friend."There never was a better loveTo see the light of dayIf only just to lift you upAnd rise above the grey"- Brandi Carlile





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Returning to my fic roots by placing all of these characters in high school.

It’s the last day before winter break, and everyone is glad to be out of class, but no one is in a hurry to be heading home. She’s standing with a couple of friends from the field hockey team, just gossiping about family plans for the holidays when someone comes up behind her and pulls her knit hat over her eyes. “Lena,” she laughs, as her friend comes to stand in front of her.    
   
The field hockey girls all immediately side-eye the newcomer, and they call their goodbyes to Kara. “Oh, sure, see you!” Kara says, easily cheerful, but when she turns back, Lena is scowling, and her heart falls.    
   
“Sometimes I wish you weren’t such a jock, Kara,” she mutters, and Kara sighs.    
   
“Come on, I’ll walk you home,” she says, but Lena shakes her head. Her parents have been fighting more and more now that Lex is off at college, and bringing Clark Kent’s cousin home would do nothing to alleviate the tension in her house.    
   
“I’ll call you later,” Lena says reluctantly, but Kara puts her hand on her shoulder.    
   
“Walk home with me then, at least,” she asks, and Lena gives in immediately.  

Kara pulls her arm through her own, and they head off campus. Several people wave and call out to Kara, who responds in kind, and Lena wishes, not for the first time, that she hadn’t somehow managed to make the most popular girl in their class her only friend. Then again it is infinitely better than having no friends. But being friends with Kara Danvers has made it crystal clear just how much of a pariah she is to the entire school. “Lex Luthor’s little sister,” is the only thing anyone ever calls her, and even some of her teachers actually sneer at her—no matter what she does.  

“Kara,” she says, once they’re clear of the crush of students, “what on earth are you doing with me?”   
   
“Lee, stop it,” Kara sighs, sick of this argument they’ve been having since virtually the first day of their freshman year. “I don’t care about what Lex did while he was here. You’re not him.” 

“It really doesn’t bother you?” 

“Of course it bothers me, but not for the reason you think,” Kara mutters, pulling Lena closer to her. “It bothers me that no one else ever tries to get to know you. It bothers me that they all say hi to me and act like you’re not even there. And it bothers me most that I have no idea how to make them stop.” 

Lena heaves a sigh, but leans comfortably against Kara, who is too kind for everyone at that stupid school—but especially too kind for her. There’s no way she could ever give her up, though, even though it would make Kara’s life easier. It would stop the nagging she occasionally gets from Clark and her older sister Alex. Kara’s parents, at least, have been nothing but welcoming, which is far more than she can say for her own parents.  

Once they’re at Kara’s, they go straight up to her room, where Kara flops onto her bed, and Lena sits cross-legged on the floor, leaning back against the bed.  

“There’s a party tonight, at Jimmy Olsen’s,” Kara says, with a decent attempt at off-handedness, but there’s no disguising how badly she actually wants to go to this party.  

Lena is well aware of the crush Kara’s had on Jimmy for over a year, but Kara has only ever denied it. As the golden boy of the senior class, Jimmy is basically the new Clark, and he is clearly fond of Kara, but more like an older brother. Lena hates to watch Kara pine for him, but can’t bring herself to try to talk to Kara out of her crush.  

“I’m not going to a party with you, Kara,” Lena says, refusing to look up at her.  

“Pleeeease, Lee?” Kara begs, leaning down to turn her head.    
   
“Come on, Kara, no one wants me there, certainly not Clark Kent’s best friend.”   
   
“Jimmy isn’t like the rest of them,” Kara insists, and Lena does think that’s probably true. But Jimmy also isn’t going to go out of his way to stand up for Lex Luthor’s little sister.    
   
“Aren’t all your other friends going to be there?” she asks archly. “Or at least Alex?”   
   
“Ugh, no. Alex thinks she’s too good for house parties these days. I think she has a secret boyfriend or something,” Kara muses, and Lena snorts. If Kara hasn’t noticed the way her sister has been making eyes at Maggie Sawyer all semester, well. Lena is not going to be the one to break it to her. “What?” Kara demands, refusing to ignore Lena’s derisiveness.   
   
“Nothing. Alex just doesn’t seem like the secret boyfriend type,” she says innocently.    
   
“Kara! Do you and Lena want dinner?” Kara’s father calls up the stairs, and Kara answers in the affirmative, before going back to beg Lena to go to the party with her.  

“Kara, come on. You just told me you hate how everyone is rude to me,” Lena says, feeling tears sting her eyes, and Kara is on the floor at her side in an instant.   
   
“I’m sorry,” she murmurs, slipping her arm around Lena. “I’m an idiot.”   
   
Lena closes her eyes and lets her head fall to Kara’s shoulder. She really wishes it didn’t bother her, how no one ever wants her around, but well. She’s only human.  

“Forget the party,” Kara says softly. “We’ll get some movies and stay in.”   
   
“You should go to the party,” Lena makes herself say, wanting nothing more than to curl up on the couch and watch movies with her friend. But she refuses to be the reason Kara hangs back from things she wants to do.   
   
“Lena,” Kara says seriously, and Lena lifts her head up. “I want you to know, you’re way more important to me than a stupid party—or a stupid boy I have a useless crush on. He’s dating Lucy Lane, you know. And she’s beautiful and so smart.”   
   
“Well, so are you,” Lena says without thinking, and Kara blushes, as they both look away from each other.    
   
A strange silence stretches between them, one they can’t seem to figure out how to break. Fortunately, Kara’s dad calls them down to dinner, and the awkwardness seems to evaporate when they enter the kitchen. “Where’s Alex?” Kara asks, absently pulling Lena’s seat out for her.    
   
“Oh, she went home with a friend after school,” Eliza says. “Maggie…something. She’s never mentioned her before.”   
   
“Hmm, I don’t think I know her,” Kara says, and shrugs. Lena tries to keep from smirking, but fails utterly. “What?” Kara demands, so Lena takes a bite of food and just blinks at her.    
   
Jeremiah deftly changes the subject, asking Kara about basketball, and Lena groans inwardly, realizing she’ll have to deal with hearing about a whole new sport for the next three months.  

“So what are you girls up to tonight?” Eliza asks as they help to clear the table after dinner.   
   
Kara shrugs. “Probably just going to watch a movie. It’s okay if Lena stays over, right?”    
   
“Of course,” Eliza says, smiling at Lena, who shyly returns it.  

The dishes done, Lena follows Kara into the living room, where they both sit cross-legged on the couch and good-naturedly argue about what to watch. As Lena’s about to capitulate to Kara’s choice, Kara’s phone goes off, buzzing with several texts in a row. Kara glances at it and then tosses it onto the coffee table. “Who’s texting you?” Lena asks, trying for casual curiosity, but most likely failing.    
   
“Just the girl jocks,” Kara sighs.  

“They want you at the party?” Lena guesses.    
   
“Probably. Forget them, Lee.”   
   
“Kara. Do you want to go to the party?”   
   
“Sure. But I’d rather hang out with you,” she says, and Lena feels her cheeks grow warm.  

“We can go to the party if you want,” Lena says softly, and immediately regrets it. But when she sees the way Kara lights up, she doesn’t feel too awful about it.    
   
“Mom? Is it okay if we go over to Jenna’s for a couple hours?” Kara calls, easily coming up with a cover lie.    
   
“Sure, honey. Home by midnight,” Eliza grants easily. “Lena, sweetie, do your parents know where you are?”   
   
“Yes, Eliza,” she lies, because her parents surely don’t care. She's not their golden son; she's the afterthought.   
   
“All right. Be good, girls.”   
   
“Always, Mom,” Kara promises, bounding upstairs to get changed.    
   
Sighing, Lena follows and gamely helps Kara pick out an outfit. Her own uniform of black jeans and black button-up will be fine for a party, but Kara sweetly lends her a necklace and a silver belt. “Your makeup’s always perfect, Lee. Help?” she asks, holding up a tube of lipstick, and Lena laughs and willingly helps.    
   
In the foyer, Kara shrugs into her letter jacket and then takes Lena’s hand. The Olsens only live two streets over, which is quite convenient. Kara continues to hold her hand as they walk, and Lena finds her heart speeding up, and she frowns for a second. Then she realizes she’s just nervous about the party.  

Jimmy greets them at the door when they get there, arms wide and a ready grin on his admittedly handsome face. He hugs Kara and even says, “Hey, Lena, how’s it going?” like she’s welcome there. She hates how grateful that makes her feel, but she smiles politely and answers his greeting.   
   
“Keg’s in the backyard, but take it easy, huh?” he says, winking at them, and Kara laughs a little too loudly, as he moves on to make the rounds of the already crowded party.  

“Well, we should probably get a beer, right?” Kara asks, and Lena shrugs, but dutifully follows her out to the keg.  

Two senior boys have placed themselves in charge of handing out beers, apparently, and they are happy to fill up a cup for Kara. One of them scowls at Lena, but the other introduces himself as Jack and grins as he hands a cup to her.    
   
“Haven’t seen you at one of these before,” he says. “What’s your name?”   
   
“Seriously, asshat? That’s Lex Luthor’s sister,” the other goon says, and Kara makes a face.   
   
“Shut the fuck up, Owen,” Jack says. “I was talking to her.”   
   
“Her name is Lena,” Kara says protectively, spinning her away from the two boys. “And thank you for the beer,” her innate politeness makes her add.   
   
Lena laughs, helplessly knocking into Kara, as she guides them back into the warmth of the house. “What jerks,” Kara mutters, and then is instantly hailed by her field hockey friends.  

And Kara is a good friend, so she makes sure never to get pulled away from Lena, even though her field hockey friends try—and then so do her basketball friends and then even Alex’s friends. “Where is Alex?” one of the demands, and Kara shrugs.    
   
“At a friend’s house? I don’t know; she won’t come to these things with me anymore.”   
   
“I know, right?” the girl commiserates. “What is her deal?”   
   
“Kara thinks she’s got a secret boyfriend,” Lena laughs, and the girls all stare at her, but then make faces like they’re considering it.    
   
“Who, Max?” someone suggests, and Kara gags.   
   
“God, not that asshole,” she hopes, and everyone laughs.    
   
“No, Max is here, hitting on freshmen like a skeeze,” someone else reports, and that gets a group eyeroll.    
   
Lena manages to keep her suspicions to herself this time, knowing that suggesting Alex actually has a secret girlfriend will earn her no friends.  

Eventually, she does get separated from Kara, who needs the bathroom, and so she decides to go out for another beer, as hers has gone flat and warm. Jack is still at the keg, but the other idiot has gone. He acts exceptionally pleased to fill up her cup, and she doesn’t even realize how starved she is for the simple feeling of someone wanting to talk to her. So she ends up standing with him, out in the cold, for nearly half an hour, mostly listening to him talk about school and, naturally, basketball.  

Eventually someone demands to know why he’s talking to Lex Luthor’s little sister, and her bubble bursts. “I better get back inside,” she mutters.    
   
“Can I get your number, Lena?” he asks, and his voice is kind, and there’s no reason for him to have her number, but he’s also the only person besides Kara who’s been happy to talk to her. So she gives it to him.  

As she reaches the door to the house, her phone buzzes, and she is surprised but gratified to find that he really does want to talk to her. She refuses to let him see her acknowledge his text though, so she just continues inside.    
   
Kara is in the kitchen, talking animatedly with Jimmy and Lucy Lane, and Lena stands near the wall and watches her. There’s something undeniably special about Kara, how captivating she can be—even to two seniors who know her better as Clark Kent’s young cousin.  

Then someone knocks into her, spilling her beer all over her shirt, brushing by with a very insincere sorry, as she involuntarily shouts, “Hey!”   
   
That gets Kara’s attention right away, and she is immediately at Lena’s side with some paper towels. “Who was that? I didn’t see. I’ll punch him,” she says, helping her mop up the mess.    
   
“It’s fine, just an accident,” Lena sighs.   
   
“Where have you been?” Kara demands. “I wasn’t gone that long.”   
   
“Oh, I went out to get a beer, and I guess I was talking to Jack for a while,” she says lamely, but Kara smiles mischievously.   
   
“Talking to Jack Spheer, hmm?” she teases, and Lena rolls her eyes.  

“I did give him my number,” Lena admits, and Kara’s eyes go wide.    
   
“Oh. Wow,” she says quietly, and Lena frowns.    
   
“I’m not going to date him, Kara, obviously. It would be nice to have more than one friend, maybe, though,” she says, and then feels like an idiot.  

"Lena,” Kara says, but trails off, and then someone calls for her, and they get pulled back into the party.  

After maybe two hours, Lena is heartily sick of following Kara around, even though Kara is doing her best to include her. No one else is making an effort, though, so it’s kind of a lost cause. She finds herself offering to get more beers, but is dismayed to find Owen and not Jack at the keg. Gritting her teeth, she still goes over there, fully expecting a fight, but Owen merely nods at her and then hands back full cups. “Thank you,” she says, surprised, and he nods again.   
   
She doesn’t find Kara right away when she makes it back inside, and it would be even easier for someone to spill two beers all over her, so she goes to the kitchen and sets the cups on the counter. Kara will find her way back to her eventually. Before she does, though, Jack finds her and grinningly asks if she’s looked at his text yet.   
   
“Oh, no, I’ve been too busy socializing,” she replies, and he laughs.    
   
“I see that,” he says, but with no trace of meanness, just as if they’re sharing a private joke. “How’s the beer?”   
   
“Disgusting,” she admits, and he nods.    
   
“Always is, at these things. You wanna come with me? I can make you a real drink,” he offers, his voice so kind that she almost agrees. But she knows better than to accept strange drinks from strange boys.    
   
“No thanks,” she says shortly, suddenly irritated. Clearly, all Jack was looking for was to get in her pants.    
   
“Oh, god, I just realized how creepy that sounded,” he says, sounding genuinely dismayed. “I’m sorry. You wait here. I will bring you a drink.”   
   
She’s still not sure about that, but she’d much rather stay in the very visible kitchen than follow him anywhere, so she nods warily. Kara finds her before he comes back, and she finds she is immensely relieved. “Where have you been?” she asks, handing over her beer.  

“Oh, having a really awkward conversation with Winn Schott,” Kara says, blowing out a frustrated breath. “Someone got him drunk, and he tried to kiss me.”   
   
Lena raises her eyebrows, and Kara shakes her head. “I don’t know what he was thinking.”   
   
“Poor Winn,” Lena murmurs, and means it. Winn Schott is the other sophomore taking AP classes and even frequently offers to be her lab partner in chemistry. He has been pining for Kara for as long as Kara has been pining for Jimmy.  

“The way I feel about Winn… That’s probably basically the way Jimmy feels about me,” Kara says quietly, so Lena puts her arm around her.    
   
“You wanna get out of here?” she suggests, and Kara nods, taking one last gulp of her beer.  

They head toward the front door, and Kara goes off for their coats, and that is when Jack finds her. He has two cups in his hand and eagerly hands her one. “Special cocktail of my own invention,” he says, pleased with himself.   
   
“Oh, sorry. We’re actually heading home right now,” Lena says, trying to give it back.   
   
“What, already? The night is young!” he protests, just like every other jock at a party who’s ever existed.    
   
“Maybe next time,” she says, making herself sound regretful even if she doesn’t feel it. She hands him the cup back.   
   
“All right, I’ll remember you for next time, Lena,” Jack says.   
   
“Did you want to stay?” Kara asks, returning with their coats and apparently catching the tail end of her conversation with Jack.   
   
“Not even a little bit,” she says truthfully, and Kara smiles sadly at her.    
   
“Thank you, for coming with me,” she says softly, pressing a quick kiss to Lena’s temple.    
   
Though Kara has always been very affectionate, she’s never kissed her before, and it takes Lena by surprise. She feels her face flush, and she quickly turns away to shrug into her coat. “Oh hell,” she sighs. “I am covered in beer.” 

“Oh!” Kara yelps, and quickly tugs her into the bathroom, easily bypassing the line of people with a charming smile. “Here, take my sweater.”   
   
She pulls off her sweater, accidentally exposing her stomach, and Lena turns away abruptly. She and Kara have gotten changed in front of each other countless times. What is happening now?  

Deciding to blame the beer, Lena quickly shrugs off her blouse and pulls on Kara’s sweater. Kara straightens it for her and then smiles softly. “An actual color on you, Lee,” she teases. “Looks good.”   
   
“Oh spare me,” she says, but she feels her lips tugging into a grin, and Kara laughs.    
   
They head back to the front door and pull on their coats, bundling up against the December night. Kara produces her knit hat from her pocket and pulls it over her head, and Lena hooks her arm through Kara’s before shoving her hands into her pockets. “So? What’s going on with Jack?” Kara asks eagerly, once they’re out in the quiet street.    
   
“Nothing,” Lena says quickly. “He’s just a guy.”   
   
“Oh. I thought you were…getting along with him.”   
   
“I thought so too. But then he wanted me to go with him somewhere so he could make me a ‘real drink’.”   
   
“What a creep!” Kara exclaims, so indignant that Lena can only laugh.    
   
“Well, what else is new?” Lena murmurs, and Kara huffs.   
   
“I’ll tell Jimmy to beat him up. I’ll beat him up!”   
   
“Why are you so violent?”    
   
“I’m not! Not…really,” Kara sighs, but it is true that for most of her life, she’s had the urge to beat on people who hurt her friends. She rarely acts on it, because she knows better, but it is always there.   
   
“I know,” Lena says gently, seeing that Kara is troubled. “Thank you, for wanting to defend my honor.”   
   
She’s joking, but Kara takes her seriously, pulling her closer. “Always,” she promises, and there’s a sudden lump in Lena’s throat.    
   
They walk the rest of the way home in companionable silence, Lena still held close to Kara’s side. When they get to the Danverses’ front porch, neither of them wants to make the first move to go inside. “Let’s go around back,” Kara whispers, so they do.    
   
Kara springs up onto the top of the old picnic table in the backyard, and Lena sits on the bench, leaning back against her legs. The sky is cold and clear, and they both gaze up at the stars. They’ve done this many times, but Lena never gets sick of letting Kara point out the constellations to her.    
   
They lapse into silence again, after the stars have all been named, and Kara reaches down to pull Lena in between her legs, murmuring about keeping her warm. Lena lets herself accept the comfort and tips her head back to smile up at Kara, who grins down at her. “You wanna go inside yet?” she asks, but Lena quietly says no.    
   
“Me neither,” Kara replies. 


	2. Chapter 2

Christmas has never been a big deal in the Luthor household, and it becomes even less so when her parents discover that Lex has no plans to come home for the holiday. She can’t say she’s exactly surprised. When he’d left, he’d said he was never coming back to this stupid town, and she, at least, had believed him. But she doesn’t know if she can face a Christmas with her parents without him.

Naturally, Kara insists on having her over for Christmas, a holiday she and Jeremiah are overly enthusiastic about. They spend the weekend before Christmas, all four Danverses and Lena, watching the traditional lineup of holiday classics: Rudolph, How the Grinch Stole Christmas, Home Alone, Elf. After Elf, Alex gets fed up and insists on adding Die Hard, which makes Kara scowl and Lena laugh delightedly. 

“It does take place on Christmas,” Lena points out to tease her, and Kara just huffs.  
  
“Whose side are you on?” she asks.  
  
“Kara, your sister can pick one movie,” Eliza scolds gently. 

After Die Hard, the Danvers parents say goodnight, and Alex slyly asks if they can watch Gremlins now. “I hate you,” Kara grumps.

“Oh, come on, where’s your Christmas spirit?” Alex taunts, and then drops a kiss on her head. “If Mom and Dad can bail, I’m bailing. Goodnight, nerds.”  
  
“Goodnight, Alex,” Lena says pleasantly, and Kara mutters something. Alex just grins and bounds up the stairs. 

Lena tugs Kara up off the floor where she’s been watching most of the movies, but Kara still sits next to her, arms crossed. “What’s the matter? We got to watch all your favorites,” she says. “And come on, you love Die Hard.”  
  
“I know,” Kara says, rolling her eyes. “I don’t know. Sometimes Alex makes me feel dumb for liking Christmas so much.”  
  
“Oh. Well, she’s just being… I mean, that’s what older siblings do, isn’t it?” she asks, and then has to swallow a lump in her throat. It’s been so long since Lex has good-naturedly teased her about anything.

Kara immediately snaps out of her bad mood, as she notices something’s bothering Lena. “You miss him?” she asks gently, and Lena shrugs helplessly.  
  
“He wasn’t always awful,” she says quietly, and Kara hugs her.  
  
“I know.”  
  
“Sorry,” Lena sighs, pulling away. “I will watch one more movie with you.”  
  
“Nah, we don’t have to. Let’s just watch SNL,” Kara says, flipping the TV to cable.  
  
“Okay,” Lena agrees. 

After about half an hour of Saturday Night Live, Kara yawns and puts her head in her lap, and Lena freezes. But then she starts stroking Kara’s hair, and Kara sighs contentedly. “I’m glad you’re here, Lee,” she murmurs.  
  
“Yeah. Me too.”

It’s not long before Kara falls asleep, and then she’s alone in the glow from the TV and the Christmas tree, fingers still absently moving through Kara’s soft hair. 

\--

Her mother has actually picked up a shift at the hospital for Christmas, and she can tell her father is displeased, but what’s the point of pretending they’re a happy family anymore? Lillian actually gives her a present at breakfast and drops a kiss on her head on her way out the door. Surprised, she turns to her father, who sighs and hides behind the newspaper. He must be the only person on earth who still gets a physical newspaper delivered, she thinks. 

Lillian, to her astonishment, has given her a beautiful silver necklace with a tear-shaped sapphire. “Dad?” she asks, holding it up, and Lionel looks at it appraisingly.  
  
“Your mother has always had flawless taste,” he says mildly, and she carefully puts it on. She usually doesn’t bother with jewelry, but this really is lovely.  
  
“Are you—um? The Danverses invited me…over later,” she says, stumbling over her words. She doesn’t want to be in this empty house, without Lex, without even her mother, but she feels bad leaving her father alone.  
  
“Go. Have a proper Christmas,” he says, nodding once. “And give them my best.”

She gets up and kisses him, slipping her small gift under his newspaper. “Merry Christmas,” she says quietly.  
  
He looks up at her and smiles. “Merry Christmas, my dear. Your present is in the garage.”

“Dad, you didn’t get me a car. I don’t even have my license yet.”

“Don’t you?” he asks, startled. “You are sixteen, aren’t you? I can’t be that terrible of a father, that I don’t know how old you are.”  
  
“I am,” she laughs, and he looks relieved. “But I haven’t… Dad,” she says, realizing he’s been joking.  
  
He winks at her. “You need something to learn on,” he says, getting up. 

And so they spend Christmas morning driving very slowly around their neighborhood in a Saab 93 hatchback. Her father is very patient, even as she stalls and grinds gears, and when she eventually figures out how to shift smoothly, he actually cheers. Lena cannot remember the last time she was so delighted. 

She makes lunch for both of them, and then he sends her over to the Danvers. “Take the car,” he says, grinning, but she shakes her head.

“I’ll walk. Thank you, Dad,” she says earnestly, and hugs him tight. 

“You’re welcome, my girl.”

She rushes upstairs for her bag of presents, then bundles up against the cold, and walks the few blocks over to the Danverses’ house. Even from the driveway, she can hear Kara and her father belting Christmas carols in the kitchen, and though her heart twinges at leaving her own father behind, she cannot wait to be enveloped in the warmth of her best friend’s family. 

As soon as she walks in the door, Kara grabs her, dancing her into the kitchen where Jeremiah is patiently inspecting his turkey. “Lena! Merry Christmas!” he greets her with a wide smile. 

“Merry Christmas,” she laughs, as he and Kara take up “The Little Drummer Boy.”

Kara is absolutely radiant, in a green sweater and gray skirt, her hair tied back with a small red bow. Lena catches herself staring and quickly looks away. 

“Can you at least sing quietly?” Alex begs, stomping into the kitchen. “Hey, Lena.”

“Hey, Alex.”

“What’s the point in singing quietly?” Jeremiah asks, and Alex rolls her eyes and stomps back out. 

Lena perches on a stool at the kitchen island, happy to watch Kara and Jeremiah cook. Eliza comes in and kisses everyone, and Kara gets her to sing one song with them. “Alex and I are watching a Golden Girls marathon if you get overwhelmed by Christmas cheer, Lena,” she says on her way out.  
  
“Grinches!” Kara and Jeremiah accuse, and Lena laughs and laughs.

She happily chops vegetables with Kara and plays guinea pig for Jeremiah’s concoctions, but after their third rendition of Hark! The Herald Angels Sing, she does quietly sneak out to the living room. She sits at Alex’s feet and leans back against the couch, letting herself take a deep breath. “You owe me five bucks,” Alex says to her mom, and Eliza sighs and reaches into her pocket.  
  
“Did you have a bet on how long I would last in Santa’s workshop?” Lena laughs, looking up at Alex, who grins. 

“You’re a braver woman than I, Miss Lena,” Eliza proclaims, slapping five dollars into her daughter’s hand. 

“I said you’d last at least two hours. Mom only gave you half an hour.”  
  
“I underestimated your stamina. Forgive me,” Eliza says, and Lena can only shake her head and grin. 

It’s blessedly quiet in the living room, and while she does miss Kara a bit, it is nice to get a break from the non-stop Christmas cheer. Kara and Jeremiah burst in only one episode of Golden Girls later, but they’re carrying drinks and snacks, and so everyone is glad to see them. 

Kara hands around glasses, then perches on the arm of the couch next to her sister. “Sorry,” she says to Lena. “I know we overdo it.”

“Don’t ever apologize,” Lena says, smiling up at her, and Kara blushes. 

\--

At dinner, Eliza puts her foot down and forces her husband and daughter to turn off the music. “Let’s just enjoy each other’s company, shall we?” And for a few hours, they do just that. 

Afterward, Lena follows Eliza and Alex into the kitchen to help with the dishes, and Jeremiah and Kara put the music back on in the living room. “Do you have anything loud that will drown them out, Alex?” Eliza laughs, but Alex just smiles, and they clean up to the frog’s chorus of “Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree” in the other room. 

With the kitchen sparkling clean, they cautiously rejoin Santa’s elves, and Jeremiah jumps up to switch off the music, and Kara puts on The Wizard of Oz. “Not again,” Alex groans, but she falls onto the couch beside her sister. 

“You just be glad it’s not It’s a Wonderful Life,” Kara retorts. She looks up at Lena and pats the spot beside her.  
  
“I, um, brought gifts,” Lena remembers, and hurries back to the foyer. 

The gifts are small: perfume for Eliza, an astronomy guide for Jeremiah, a graphing calculator for Alex, who recently had hers stepped on by an oaf in class. “Hey. Lena, these are expensive,” Alex says, frowning, but Lena just shrugs, so Alex decides to just say, “Thank you.” All three of them seem very appreciative, which is all Lena could have hoped for. 

“Kara, go bring Lena our gifts,” Jeremiah instructs, and Kara dives under the tree for a little pile. 

There’s a beautiful gray wool scarf from Alex and a stack of science books from Jeremiah and Eliza, who beam to see how excited she gets. She is so happy and grateful that no one notices that she and Kara haven’t given each other anything. 

Kara hangs the new scarf around her neck when she sits beside her, and she smiles shyly. “It suits you,” Kara decides. “I didn’t even help Alex pick it out.” 

Alex laughs, and Lena blushes, and then they all settle in to watch the Danvers family classic. 

One by one, everyone drops to sleep except for Lena and Kara. Kara because she is sitting on the edge of her seat, mouthing every word, and Lena because she is watching Kara, mesmerized. How can she still be so enchanted by this movie?

It’s not until the very end that Kara realizes she’s lost everyone. Even Lena is leaning against the arm of the couch, fighting to keep her eyes open. “Oh. I got too into the movie again,” she says, embarrassed, and Lena smiles sleepily.

“Nerd,” she yawns.  
  
The absence of movie noise wakes the other Danverses, who all kiss Kara and then Lena and head upstairs with one last “Merry Christmas.”  
  
“I did get you a present, you know,” Kara says quietly, and Lena’s cheeks get hot. “I just… Well, here,” she says, reaching behind the couch for a small box. 

“Thank you,” Lena says quietly, and hands Kara the box she’d left under the coffee table during the gift exchange. 

They’re both quiet as they carefully unwrap their gifts. Lena waits to watch Kara discover her present first. She’d agonized over it for nearly a month—what could she get Kara that possibly conveyed how important she was to her? She’d settled on a bracelet, deep red woven cloth through with strands of gold wire. When Kara lifts it out of the box, her jaw drops. “Lee, this is lovely,” she says, and Lena blushes. 

She reaches for it and carefully fastens it around Kara’s wrist. “Thank you,” Kara says, admiring it. Then she realizes Lena hasn’t opened her own gift and taps the box eagerly. “It’s not as nice as yours,” she says, suddenly bashful.

“Stop,” Lena orders and takes off the lid. Inside is a slim silver bracelet, studded with green beads. “Kara, it’s lovely,” she says, lifting it up. It’s not like anything she’s seen before.  
  
“I know you’re not really big on jewelry, but I just… Well, I thought it would suit you,” Kara explains, fastening the bracelet around her wrist for her. “So funny that we both thought of bracelets,” she murmurs, and Lena smiles.  
  
“Great minds and all,” she says, and Kara grins.  
  
“Oh! I didn’t even notice—your necklace. That’s beautiful,” she says, reaching for the sapphire.  
  
“Oh. Yeah. My mom gave it to me, on her way to work.”  
  
“Well. That really puts my gift to shame,” Kara says, shaking her head.  
  
“Stop it,” Lena orders. “I love the bracelet.”  
  
“Really?”

“Really,” she promises, and tells herself she’ll never take it off. 


	3. Chapter 3

Lena usually stays after school when Kara doesn’t have the late basketball practice slot to walk home with her afterward. More often than not, she does her chemistry homework with Winn in the library. That’s exactly what she’s doing when Jack finds her on their first day back from winter break.  
  
“You never answered any of my texts,” is his greeting, and Winn starts, nearly knocking his textbook to the floor.  
  
“Had kind of a busy vacation,” she lies, without looking up. In truth, she’d spent most of the time either watching movies with Kara or learning to drive with her dad. A few times, she and her dad even tried to teach Kara to drive—but Lionel eventually put a stop to that, fearing for the car’s transmission.  
  
“You didn’t give me a fake number, did you?” Jack asks slyly.  
  
“No. Just figured you could wait,” she replies, and Winn widens his eyes at her.  
  
“I can wait,” Jack says easily. “See you around, Lena.”

“What is going on with you and Jack Spheer?” Winn demands as soon as Jack has gone.

“Not that it’s any of your business, Winn, but there is nothing going on with me and Jack Spheer,” she says stiffly.  
  
“Oh come on, Lena. Don’t I get to be your friend yet? After a year and a half of nerd classes together?” Winn asks, and his smile is nearly as charming as Kara’s.  
  
She laughs in disbelief. Winn considers her a friend? “I’m sorry,” she says sincerely. “Friends…mystify me.”  
  
“You’re not alone there,” he sighs wistfully, and she wonders if he’s thinking about Kara. “Anyway, what was that all about?”  
  
“I met him at that party at Jimmy Olsen’s before break. He seemed nice at first, but…” She shrugs.  
  
“Not interested?” Winn suggests.  
  
“Yeah,” she says, because it’s easier than admitting it likely has more to do with her reluctance to trust people. “Hey, have you…talked to Kara?” she asks, and Winn blushes.  
  
“Yeah. I apologized. I cannot even believe…” He shakes his head. “Anyway. She’s my friend. So that’s…that’s what’s important.”  
  
“Right,” Lena agrees, nodding, and something twists in her stomach. “Sorry, it’s not really my business.”  
  
“Well, maybe it is—if I get to ask about Jack Spheer,” Winn replies with a smile, and she laughs. 

When they finish their homework, Winn walks her down to the gym where she expects Kara to be waiting. And she is, but she’s talking with a guy Lena doesn’t know, laughing and shyly tucking her hair behind her ear. “Who is that?” she asks Winn.

“Uh, Mike…something,” Winn replies. “He’s new this year, I think.”  
  
“Hmm,” Lena murmurs, and then Kara spots her and waves.  
  
“I’ll text you,” she hears Kara promise before leaving Mike to join her and Winn. “Hey nerds.”  
  
“Who’s the guy?” Winn asks, doing a credible job of not sounding jealous.  
  
“Oh! Mike, he’s on the boys’ team this year. He was giving me some free throw tips,” she says easily, slipping her arm through Lena’s. “Dinner at my place?” she offers, and Lena nods. “Winn?”  
  
“Thanks, Kara, but I gotta get home,” he says, so they part ways.  
  
“Thanks for waiting,” Kara says, beaming at Lena.  
  
“Sure,” she says, feeling confused about something, but she can’t put her finger on what. 

\--

After dinner with the Danvers parents, she, Kara, and Alex work on homework sprawled across the living room floor. Lena is actually in Alex’s AP calculus class, so they both start on that, but Alex is clearly distracted, spending more time tapping her pencil against her notebook than writing anything. “Alex!” Kara says, pushing at her arm. “You’re driving me nuts.”

“Sorry,” Alex mutters. “Sorry.”  
  
“Is something wrong?” Lena asks hesitantly, not wanting to overstep. But Alex had walked to school with them for the first time in months that morning, instead of rushing ahead to meet Maggie Sawyer.  
  
“No,” Alex says with no conviction, and Kara looks up from her Spanish workbook.  
  
“Alex, what’s wrong?” she asks, and Alex sighs.  
  
“I can go,” Lena offers, but Kara frowns at her.  
  
“No, it’s fine, Lena,” Alex says. “I just, uh…” She shakes her head, clearly trying to find words for what she’s feeling.  
  
“Did something happen with Maggie Sawyer?” Lena asks so quietly she’s not sure Alex has heard her at first. Then she sees how still Alex has gone and curses herself for opening her mouth.  
  
“Maggie Sawyer?” Kara asks, and Lena gulps.  
  
“Sorry, Alex, sorry. I, uh, it’s none of my business,” Lena says, scrambling to gather her things.

“No, stop,” Alex says, staring at her like she’s never quite managed to see her until now. “What do you know?”  
  
“Nothing! Nothing,” Lena insists. “I just, um, noticed that you…seemed to be spending a lot of time with her? I’m sorry for assuming—really.” 

Kara is staring at them both with her mouth slightly open, and something in her brain finally clicks. “Alex, you don’t—you can tell me, if you’re—”

“Please, Kara,” Alex says quietly, shutting her eyes, and Kara glances worriedly at Lena. 

“Are you?” Kara asks gently, and Alex nods, even as tears start to fall down her cheeks.

And Lena knows she shouldn’t be here; this is something for Alex and Kara alone, so she carefully packs away her school things. But when she gets up, it’s Alex who reaches out for her, gently grabbing her wrist. “You don’t have to go,” she says.  
  
“It’s okay,” Lena insists. “Talk to your sister.”

Kara gets up to walk her to the door and promises to call her later. 

She gets home to a dark and silent house, not even sure if her parents are out or simply in different corners of their home ignoring each other. It's easy enough to finish her homework, and she texts Winn to check a few answers for calculus, and then finally Kara calls her. 

"How did you know?" is the first thing she says, and Lena feels a pit opening in her stomach.

"I don't know," she says. "I just...saw Alex going to find her a lot. Is everything okay?"

"Well, Alex is a bit heartbroken, but I think she's glad she told me."

"Heartbroken?" Lena asks, frowning.  
  
"Apparently, Maggie Sawyer doesn't feel the same way. She must be stupid," Kara harumphs, in full protective sister mode, and Lena smiles.  
  
"Maybe she's scared," she says quietly, absently twisting her hair around her finger.  
  
"Of what?" Kara demands, and the pit in her stomach grows.  
  
"Well, you know, people are...can be small-minded."  
  
"Oh," Kara says, catching on. "Dammit."  
  
"What?" Lena asks worriedly.  
  
"People are stupid," Kara huffs, and Lena finds that she can't disagree. 

\--

The next day, Kara finds her at her locker after last period and breathlessly tells her Mike has asked her out. “Oh!” Lena says stupidly, but she has been taken entirely by surprise. “That’s great, Kara.” Her false enthusiasm falls entirely flat, but Kara doesn’t seem to notice.

“We’re going to a movie, after his game on Friday. Will you help me pick out something to wear?” she asks eagerly, and even though every part of her revolts at the idea of Kara on a date with this…stranger, she of course says yes.

She finds she can’t even be happy that Kara seems so happy. And that begins to bother her. 

Friday afternoon, she sits patiently on Kara’s bed while Kara runs through her outfit options until they finally decide on dark jeans and a maroon sweater. Lena fixes Kara’s hair and does her makeup, and Kara hugs her tight in gratitude. “You are the best, Lee!” she squeals, clearly delighted to be going on this date.  
  
“It’s no trouble,” Lena says quietly, and follows Kara downstairs. 

“Can I call you after?” Kara asks, suddenly seeming nervous.

“Yeah of course,” Lena makes herself say. “Have fun.”

Kara grabs her in another hug, and Lena doesn’t really want her to let go, but she does just before it gets weird. And then she walks home alone, hands shoved into the pockets of her jacket, trying to think of anything other than Kara. 

Her father calls to her from his study when she gets home, and she is grateful for a distraction, so they go out driving. He directs her out onto the main road and then takes her to dinner to celebrate her progress. It’s nice to spend time with him, even if they struggle for things to talk about. Once she’s established that she’s still doing well in school, there’s very little left to stay. But it’s nice, in its way. Nice to be acknowledged by one of her parents.

Back at home, she goes to her room to read and try not to wait for Kara’s phone call. 

She calls a little after eleven and almost giddily recounts their date. Lena tunes most of it out, but when Kara says, “He kissed me,” she becomes painfully aware of everything.

“Oh. And…how was that?” she asks and cringes. 

“It was…nice,” Kara says quietly. “Honestly? Kind of…a letdown.”  
  
“Why? Was he bad?” Lena asks, smirking.  
  
“I don’t think so? I just… Well, I don’t know. Maybe I’d kind of built up my first kiss? Like it should be something amazing? And then it was just…fine.”  
  
“That was your first kiss?” Lena asks, astonished.  
  
“Oh. Is that incredibly lame?” Kara sounds self-conscious now, which Lena hates.  
  
“No! Of course not. I just, I mean. You’re beautiful, Kara,” she says, before she can rein herself in.  
  
And a strange silence falls between them. “Well, I guess I just… was too busy wasting my time on Jimmy Olsen,” Kara says quietly. “And I never really wanted…to kiss anyone else.”  
  
“I’m sorry,” Lena says. “I didn’t… I was just surprised because, you know, everyone likes you.”

“Have you kissed anyone?” Kara asks suddenly.  
  
“No,” Lena replies shortly. “I would have told you.” Being Lex Luthor’s little sister, she has never even come close to kissing anyone. She has also never particularly wanted to.  
  
“Okay. Is…something wrong, Lena?”

“No. No. I’m glad you had a good night, Kara,” Lena says, somehow managing put some warmth in her voice.  
  
“Thanks,” Kara says shyly. “Do you want to come over tomorrow?”

“Yeah, of course.” She lets out a breath she hadn’t been known she was holding. Some part of her was clearly afraid that Kara was going to spend all her time with Mike now. But that’s silly; Kara would never drop her like that. 

They say goodnight, and Lena gets ready for bed. It’s a long time, though, before she actually falls asleep. 

—

Mike actually ends up being…mostly tolerable—at least at first. He eats lunch with them sometimes, and he can actually be quite funny, and he cares nothing about whose sister she is, but he’s just not good enough for Kara. Most of the time, he talks about himself. But when he starts steamrolling Kara, and Kara stops standing up for herself, Lena starts spending more time with Winn.  
  
“You hate him too, huh?” he says to her one day, as they sit at the top of the bleachers to actually watch one of Kara’s basketball games.  
  
“Hate who?” Lena asks, but she’s never been very good at playing dumb. 

“Come on. You’ve been at my house four days this week.”

“Yeah, well. Jack keeps finding us in the library,” she mutters, and Winn chuckles.  
  
“He’s a persistent one, huh?” 

“Quite,” Lena says, fully fed up with his attentions. At first, a small, regrettable part of her had been flattered that he kept pursuing her, but by now he should have gotten the hint. “Anyway, I don’t hate Mike. But he’s turned Kara into some kind of pod person,” she says with more venom than she’d meant to.  
  
Winn nods slowly. "Yeah, she's...been acting different," he agrees. "She seems happy, though."

"Yeah," Lena sighs, because Kara does really seem happy. 

After the game, they go down to the locker rooms to congratulate Kara, who beams at them and hugs them both together. “You wanna stay for the boys’ game?” she asks hopefully, and they both burst out laughing.

“You’re on your own with that, Danvers,” Winn says cheerfully.  
  
“Lee? Please?” Kara begs, and Lena is about to give in, but then she remembers how Kara has been acting around Mike, and she shakes her head.  
  
“You’re the only person I will watch a sport for,” she says, and Winn laughs.  
  
“Ditto, Kara.”

Kara sighs but nods. “Fair enough. You guys doing anything tonight?”

They both shrug, and Kara smiles. “Jimmy’s having a party, if you want to come by.”

“We definitely do not,” Lena says, happy to speak for Winn on this one, and Kara’s face just falls.

“I feel like I don’t see you guys anymore,” she says quietly. “Um, I could ditch the party.  
  
“No, go to the party if you want,” Lena says sincerely. “But you know where to find the nerds if you need us.”  
  
“Okay,” Kara says quietly. “Game night?” she offers, and Winn beams, which makes Lena laugh.  
  
“Tonight?” she asks, and Kara nods eagerly. “Sure, I’m in.”  
  
And so the three of them walk to Kara’s house, Kara her usual cheerful self, and Lena is relieved to have her friend back for even just a night.

After nearly three hours of entirely carefree game time, which Lena and Winn spend ganging up on Kara—until the last round when Lena and Kara gang up on Winn, to his dismay—they reluctantly call it at night. Winn heads home, and Kara asks if Lena wants to stay over. “It’s been a while, huh?” Kara says, as they head to her bedroom.  
  
“Well, you do have a boyfriend now,” Lena points out, trying not to sound petulant.  
  
“What ever happened with Jack Spheer?” Kara asks, and Lena shakes her head.  
  
“I’m not interested in dating him.”  
  
“Fair enough,” Kara says easily. “He is really cute though.”  
  
“I guess,” Lena shrugs, taking the pajamas Kara is holding out to her. 

“Everything okay, Lee?” Kara worries, and Lena just nods. There are no words to tell her she hates her boyfriend and how he seems to eclipse Kara. It’s enough that Kara is happy, anyway. She deserves to be happy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (It is my dream for Lena and Winn to be friends, those little nerds.)


	4. Chapter 4

One Friday, after Kara has been dating Mike for about a month, Alex stops Lena at her locker, a worried look on her face. “Hey. Haven’t see you around lately,” she says, and Lena shrugs.  
  
“Kara’s got other friends,” she says, but Alex knows who she means.  
  
“I don’t like him,” she confesses quietly, and Lena laughs. “You either?”  
  
“Not especially,” Lena admits, and Alex nods, relieved.  
  
“Have you tried to talk sense into her?”  
  
“Er, no,” Lena says, feeling awkward. “I’m not really sure how that would go.”  
  
“I tried; she threw her Spanish dictionary at my head,” Alex divulges, and Lena shakes her head. 

“I guess she really likes him,” Lena mumbles, and Alex sighs.  
  
“I guess so. Ugh. Don’t date any of these high school boys, Lena,” she advises, and Lena laughs helplessly.  
  
“You don’t have to worry about that, Alex,” she says, and Alex frowns for a moment, but someone calls her name, and she is gone. 

\--

At lunch, Mike drops down next to Kara at their cafeteria table, immediately interrupts what she’s been telling Lena about her English assignment, and Lena gets up. “Mike. Shut up,” Kara says, and he looks at her like he’s never seen her before. “Lena, where are you going?”  
  
“Forgot something in my locker,” she mumbles, and leaves.  
  
At her locker, she hides behind the door and takes a couple of deep breaths. “That was not very smooth,” she berates herself, but god! Doesn’t Kara hear how ridiculously self-involved he is?  
  
She slams the door and turns, almost running right into Kara. “Whoa,” Kara laughs, reaching out to steady her. “Everything okay?”  
  
“Yeah, just needed to get my stuff before lunch ended,” Lena says, and Kara nods.  
  
“Can I walk you to class?” she asks, and Lena nods. “Are we…okay? I’m sorry we don’t hang out as much anymore.”  
  
“Yeah, we’re fine,” Lena says and tries to mean it. She tries to tell herself she wouldn’t feel this way if Kara were dating a guy who actually acted like he liked her. Someone like Jimmy Olsen maybe.  
  
“Okay. Are you and Winn staying after school?”  
  
“Probably. We’ll pick you up after practice,” she promises, and is rewarded with Kara’s sunshine smile.  
  
“You guys are my favorites,” she proclaims, and bumps Lena’s shoulder.  
  
“Yeah, yeah,” Lena pretends to grumble, and they share a grin.

\--

Friday night, Kara goes out with Mike, so Lena gives in and goes to see some ridiculous science fiction nonsense film with Winn. She is bored, but he is delighted, and the way he lights up as he flails about it afterward kind of makes those two hours she won’t get back worth it. “Let me buy you a coffee or something, for putting up with me,” he says, and she laughs, but walks across the street with him to Starbucks. 

He gets something sugary sweet, something like Kara would order, and she just asks for a latte. “Dang, you are like a boring old woman,” he remarks, stirring the whip cream into his drink with a straw.

“Or I have a more refined palette than you,” she retorts, and he rolls his eyes.  
  
“Oh, that’s right, Miss Lena Luthor, so worldly and sophisticated, she couldn’t possibly enjoy a drink that tastes good,” he teases, and she knocks his shoulder with her own.  
  
“You’ve got the measure of me, Winslow,” she admits, and he sticks his tongue out at her for using his full name.

“Walk me home?” he asks, offering his arm, and she slips hers through it. 

At his house, she comes in to say hello to his mom for a minute, and then heads on her way. When she gets to her house, her phone rings, and she is pleased to see that it’s Kara. “Hey! Weird question, but were you just at Starbucks with Winn?” Kara asks, her voice unnaturally high.  
  
“Um. Yes?” Lena says.  
  
“Oh,” Kara says, sounding deflated. “Lee, you’re not…dating Winn, are you?”  
  
Lena chokes on a laugh and nearly drops her phone. “Oh my god, Kara. Of course not.”  
  
“Oh! Okay,” Kara says, and Lena realizes she sounds relieved. And that irritates her for some reason.  
  
“Would you be…upset if I was?” she asks, and Kara scrambles to insist that of course she would not be.

“But, um, maybe a little? But only because you didn’t tell me,” she says all in a rush.

“Kara, I wouldn’t keep that from you,” Lena says quietly, and Kara sighs.  
  
“I know. I’m sorry. But Emma texted that she and Jackie saw you and Winn getting cozy at Starbucks, and I just…kind of got crazy. Like, what if you felt like you couldn’t tell me?”  
  
“I promise to tell you if I go on a date with Winn,” Lena says lightly, not sure how to deal with Kara’s anxiety.  
  
“You know you can tell me, if you like someone. Right?” Kara asks, and Lena’s heart leaps into her throat.  
  
“Yeah, of course. You’re my best friend,” she says evenly. “And I promise, Winn is just a boy who is my friend. He doesn’t like me that way either.”

“Okay,” Kara says, sounding mostly back to normal. “Sorry to freak out on you.”  
  
“It’s fine,” Lena says, though it isn’t, not really. And she can’t figure out what to do about it.

\--

Monday morning finds Jack Spheer waiting for her at her locker, and she sighs. Kara has already ditched her for Mike, and she hasn’t seen Winn yet, and so she has to talk to him by herself.  
  
“I heard you were on a date with someone else Friday night, Lena. Imagine my surprise,” he says, like he's teasing her.  
  
“Winn is my friend,” she sighs, opening her locker. Jesus, was the whole school at Starbucks on Friday?

“I thought so. Just wanted to make sure.” He grins, and she frowns.

“Jack. What are you doing?” she asks, but a group of his friends hail him, and he just raises his eyebrows and leaves.  
  
Shaking her head, she grabs her books, and hurries off to home room. The day passes normally, more or less, but Winn also has reports that they’ve been on a date. “You don’t want to date me, do you, Lena?” he asks, smiling wide, and she laughs and pushes his head.  
  
“In your dreams, Winn,” she replies, and he nods, like he’s considered it, and she rolls her eyes. 

“You staying after?” he asks, but she shakes her head. Not after Jack has been back to bother her. “Come over then,” he offers, and she nods.

She gets home from Winn’s kind of late that night, but the house is quiet, and so she goes upstairs. Not twenty minutes later, her mother calls for her. “Lena! Your friend is at the door. Don’t know why you all have phones if you’re still showing up at people’s houses at all hours of the night,” she adds, irritated. 

“Coming!” she replies, rolling her eyes. “What friend?” she thinks, heading downstairs. Kara knows better than to come over to her house, especially after ten o’clock. She freezes halfway down the stairs, suddenly afraid it might be Jack. But no—he wouldn’t come to her house. Would he?  
  
She is relieved to see Kara at the door, but she looks like she’s been crying. “Kara! What's wrong?” she asks, letting her inside.  
  
“I broke up with Mike,” Kara says softly, and even though that’s the best news Lena’s gotten all year, she puts on her sympathetic face and hugs Kara tightly. 

She leads Kara up to her bedroom, and Kara throws herself onto the bed. “Make yourself comfortable,” she teases fondly, sitting down beside her. 

“Sorry,” Kara mumbles, but doesn’t move.  
  
Lena carefully smooths her hair and thinks about what she should say. Maybe she should just let Kara talk or not, as she chooses. Eventually Kara sits up and leans against the wall. She pulls Lena to her, settling her head on Lena’s shoulder, Lena’s arm around her back. Having Kara this close used to be a daily occurrence, but ever since Mike… Well, they haven’t been spending much time alone together, and Lena is surprised to realize how much she’s missed the warmth and solidity of her friend. 

“What happened?” Lena asks.  
  
“Nothing, really,” Kara says dully. “He just doesn’t care about anything other than himself. And he never listens to me. He started asking me why I hang out with you, like he gives a crap about what Lex did. He wasn’t even here!”

“You didn’t break up with him because of me?” Lena asks, even as she hopes that there might actually be truth to that. 

“No. I mean, that bothered me—a lot—but so did a bunch of other things. He sucks.”

This is no time to tell her “I told you so,” so Lena just says it silently and pulls Kara closer. “What can I do?” she asks, feeling helpless.  
  
“Just this please,” Kara says, her voice small, and this is the easiest thing to give her.  
  
They sit together in silence, the only sound Kara’s occasional sniffles. Lena cautiously starts to stroke her hair, and Kara snuggles closer. “You never liked him,” she says suddenly, and Lena freezes.  
  
“I’m sorry. Liking people is not…my strong suit,” she says lamely.  
  
“No, I mean, you were right. I thought he was cute and funny, but he’s really just… a self-centered moron.” Kara sighs and sits up. “Sorry to come over so late. Your mom’s probably close to forbidding you from seeing me.”  
  
“That’ll never happen,” Lena says, suddenly angry because her mother could easily attempt something like that.

“Good,” Kara says, smiling at her. “But I should get home.”

And Lena wishes, more than anything, that Kara could stay, that she could hold her until her broken heart was healed. But her mother would never allow it. For a moment, she thinks about offering to walk Kara home, but that could also rouse her mother’s disapproval. 

“I’m sorry I can’t ask you to stay,” she says quietly, and Kara hugs her tight.

“Come over tomorrow?”

“Of course.”


	5. Chapter 5

She leaves the library later than she meant to; Kara’s game is long over, and Winn has gone home, but she’s gotten wrapped up in her work. It’s only when Mrs. Price, the librarian, gently informs her that she has to close up for the night does she realize how late it’s gotten.  
  
Quickly, she packs up her things and heads outside. She pulls out her phone to text Kara as she walks away from the school, and so she doesn’t see him. “Well, well, well. If it isn’t Miss Luthor,” he drawls, stepping too close to her.  
  
“Hello, Jack,” she says, without looking up from tapping out her text.  
  
“You know, Lena, most guys wouldn’t have waited as long as I have,” he says.  
  
“Congratulations,” she replies dryly, and then his hand is gripping her arm.  
  
“Maybe you misunderstood,” he says, still pleasant, though the strength of his grip is anything but.  
  
Refusing to be intimidated, she merely looks up at him and blinks. “I don’t know what you’re waiting for, Jack. Feel free to move on,” she says, but now his grip is hurting her.

“I’d really rather not,” he says. “You know, I thought you’d be grateful, an actual human male was willing to date you.”  
  
“Oh, sure because I’m such a dog,” she says, managing to keep her tone even, but her heart is racing, and she really wishes she’d just gone to Kara’s game. “Or is it because I’m damaged goods, being a Luthor?” she guesses. “I don’t need your attention.”  
  
“Too bad,” he says, and the fear finally freezes her.

And then, like a miracle, she hears Kara's voice. “Hey! I thought you’d forgotten about me,” she calls, bounding up to the two of them, all smiles in her winter hat and letter jacket. “Hey, Jack,” she says, clearly oblivious, and he drops her arm.  
  
“Kara,” he returns. “I’ll see you later, Lena,” he says innocuously enough, but to her it’s nothing less than a threat.

“Everything okay?” Kara asks her once Jack is gone, and Lena shakes her head. “What happened? Did he hurt you?” she demands. “Lena.”

But Lena can’t speak. She has no words for what just almost happened to her. Kara, assuming the worst, has begun to seethe. “Stop, stop,” she begs, reaching for Kara, who instantly gathers her into her arms. “Just take me home.”  
  
“Of course,” Kara says, and kisses her forehead.  
  
The gesture is so tender, so intimate that Lena’s heart starts racing, even as her eyes fill with tears. She blinks to clear them and takes Kara’s hand to follow her home. 

\--

Jeremiah has dinner waiting for them, and Eliza is eager to hear about the game, as she always is. Alex grins a hello at her and Kara, and she falls gratefully into her usual chair at the Danverses’ dinner table. The sense of welcome and normalcy she always feels around Kara’s family is like an instant balm. Kara sits beside her and makes sure she eats, occasionally putting a comforting hand on her leg. She’s not very hungry, but she hates how worried Kara is, so she eats and just waits until she can follow Kara up to her bedroom. 

After dinner, Alex leaves to meet friends somewhere, and she even invites her and Kara to tag along. She’s appreciative but in no mood to be around people, so she lets Kara decline for them and goes to help Eliza with the dishes. 

Once they’re in Kara’s room, Kara sits on her bed and gently tugs Lena into her arms. Grateful for the familiar embrace, Lena rests her head on Kara’s shoulder and closes her eyes. Kara waits a while before saying anything, and Lena can tell she’s bursting to find out what was going on with Jack, but she is not ready to tell her just yet.

“How did you do it?” Lena eventually asks. “How did you know I was in trouble and show up just in time?”  
  
“Oh, well, I just—you hadn’t answered my texts, so I figured you’d fallen asleep in the library or something,” Kara says, gently teasing, and Lena laughs and snuggles in closer.  
  
“Thank you, for always being there,” Lena says quietly.  
  
“Of course. But, Lee, what was—”  
  
“He doesn’t know how to give up, apparently. I told him I’m not interested, and he didn’t want to hear it.”  
  
Lena senses Kara’s anger, and while she appreciates how much Kara cares, she hates to have their bubble of calm interrupted.  
  
“I will…” Kara starts to say darkly, but she stops, and Lena lifts her head up to look at her questioningly. “I will certainly not threaten to beat him to a pulp,” she finishes, sounding slightly strangled, and Lena can’t help the laugh that escapes her.  
  
“Your restraint is very admirable,” she says, and Kara grins sheepishly.  
  
“I know you’re not a fan of violence. Oh! Maybe I can talk to Jimmy.”  
  
“Please, no. I don’t want…” Lena sighs and lets her head fall to Kara’s shoulder again. “Just—I don’t want this to be a thing.”  
  
“Okay,” Kara gives in. “If he tries anything again—”  
  
“You can beat him up,” Lena grants, and Kara pulls her closer.  
  
“I for sure will,” Kara promises.  
  
They sit together for a while, until they hear Alex come home, and they realize how late it is. “You’re staying,” Kara says, and Lena nods, and they get ready for bed.

Back in Kara’s room, Lena wants nothing more than to take shelter in her arms again, but she doesn’t know how to articulate it. Kara, sitting on the end of her bed, sees her standing in the middle of the room, looking lost, and pulls her to sit beside her. “I’m here,” Kara says softly, putting her arms around her. 

After a minute or so, Kara stretches out on the bed, and Lena turns to look at her questioningly. Kara holds out her arms expectantly, and Lena, refusing to let herself think about any implications, easily slips into her arms and tucks her head under Kara’s chin. “Thank you,” she says quietly, as Kara pulls the blankets up over them.  
  
“You’re welcome,” Kara says simply.  
  
She wonders for a while what Kara can possibly be thinking, how it’s so easy for her to be intimate and affectionate with her. And she realizes that Kara can’t possibly be feeling what she’s feeling. 

Kara drops to sleep quickly as always, and she carefully rolls out of her embrace. It’s a long time before sleep comes for her. 

 


	6. Chapter 6

There’s a Thursday night that Lena spends mostly doing chemistry and calculus with Winn and texting Kara, who’s at an away game and is stuck watching the boys’ game before taking the bus home. Winn’s mom feeds them, and then she goes home, still texting Kara. Eventually, she falls asleep with her phone in her hand.

She wakes up only a short while later, because her phone is buzzing. “Hello?” she yawns, and for a moment, the only response on the other end is sniffling.

“Hey. Um. Can you come over?” Kara asks quietly.  
  
“Of course,” Lena says, already pulling on pants and a sweater. “What’s wrong?”  
  
“Nothing… just… Mike was being gross on the bus after the game. He kind of…made me feel awful.”  
  
The back of Lena’s neck goes hot with anger. Kara and Mike have been over for nearly a month. What is his problem? “Are you sure you don’t want me to kill him?” Lena asks, and Kara barks a laugh.  
  
“Violence? From you?” she teases.  
  
“Sometimes it is the appropriate response,” Lena says archly, and Kara sighs.  
  
“Just come over? I can’t sleep.”  
  
“Yeah, of course. I’ll be right there.”  
  
She slips downstairs and out the front door easily, and it’s only ten minutes before she’s at the Danverses’. Kara is waiting for her in the backyard, perched on the picnic table, so Lena takes her spot on the bench and leans comfortably against Kara’s legs. “It’s not too cold?” Kara asks, and Lena shakes her head. 

So Kara begins pointing out the constellations, and everything is wonderfully and serenely familiar. There are no overly persistent boys or irritating older siblings or concerned parents, just the two of them, bundled against the late winter cold, practicing their ritual. 

After Kara’s litany of stars comes to its end, Lena shivers, and Kara slides down to sit beside her, pulling an arm around her. “Thanks for coming over,” she says quietly.

“Of course,” Lena murmurs drowsily, letting her head fall to Kara’s shoulder. She thinks about asking if Kara wants to talk about Mike, but she doesn’t want to talk about Mike, so she ends up saying nothing.  
  
“You wanna go inside?” Kara asks, but Lena says no. They’ve been out there for almost an hour, but Kara is warm beside her, and even going into the sleeping house will burst their bubble of peace.  
  
Out here, in the quiet night full of stars, they could be the only two people on earth. 

Lena starts to fall asleep, lulled by the steady sound of Kara’s heartbeat and her even breathing, and after a minute, she jerks away, lifting her head up. “Lee?” Kara asks, concerned, but Lena just laughs at herself and shakes her head.

“I think I’m falling asleep,” she says quietly, watching Kara’s eyes.  
  
Kara nods, but doesn’t say anything. She gazes back at Lena, and there’s a tension between them, something that’s never been there before. She’s not sure if Kara notices it, but then: “Lena?” Kara says, her voice barely a whisper.  
  
Lena swallows and realizes maybe this is her chance to do something, to show Kara how she feels. Her eyes move to Kara’s lips, which are slightly parted, and she starts to maybe move forward. 

And then her phone rings.

Startled, they spring apart, as Lena fumbles for her phone. When she sees her mother’s number, she can’t quite believe it. Why would her mother pick now, of all times, to notice that she’s not home?

“Hello?” she says, trying to keep her voice even. 

“Lena, it’s your father,” her mother says in clipped tones, and Lena’s heart plummets. “He’s had a heart attack; can you come to the hospital?”  
  
“Yes, of course. Do you need me to call Lex?” she asks, scrambling to her feet. Kara is instantly at her side wearing a worried frown.  
  
“Yes, you might as well. He didn’t answer when I called,” her mother says, sounding hopeless, and Lena's legs turn to rubber. The last time she even spoke to her dad was to blow off a driving lesson to hang out with Kara and Winn.  
  
Kara must see her waver, because she puts an arm around her waist. “Is Dad…?” she asks, around the lump of tears that has grown in her throat.  
  
“He’s in surgery. I’ll see you soon.” And her mother hangs up.  
  
“What can I do?” Kara asks immediately.  
  
“My dad…had a heart attack. I have to—”

“Dad can take us to the hospital. Or Alex. Someone,” Kara says, gently tugging her toward the house.  
  
Kara rouses her family, and within minutes the Danvers parents are driving them to the hospital. In the car, Lena calls Lex, but there’s no answer, so she sends a text. “Dad’s in the hospital. Heart attack. Please come home,” and then she turns and buries her face in Kara’s shoulder.  
  
“It’s gonna be okay, Lee,” Kara promises, and everything in her yearns to believe it. 

When they pull up to the hospital, her phone rings, and it’s her brother. “Lex!” she answers, almost disbelieving. 

“Is Dad really in the hospital?”  
  
“Yes! Mom just called me ten minutes ago.”  
  
There’s a moment of silence, and then Lex sighs deeply. Then: “Fuck.”  
  
“I know you never wanted to come home,” Lena says quietly.  
  
“I’m heading to the airport now. I’ll call you when I know something.”  
  
“Okay.”  
  
With that, he hangs up. And Lena reluctantly follows Kara and her parents into the hospital. 

They manage to find Lillian in the surgical waiting room, and she is standing, arms crossed, listening to another doctor. Lena looks at her mother, and Lillian’s entire face goes blank. That’s when she knows. 

“Kara,” she manages to say, reaching for her friend, and then she faints. 

She comes to fairly quickly to find herself on the floor cradled in Kara’s arms. Jeremiah is kneeling at her side, taking her pulse. “You’re all right, Lena,” he says with a gentle smile. 

“He’s dead, isn’t he?” Lena says, and Jeremiah turns to glance up at his wife and Lena’s mother. Sighing, he nods once.  
  
“I’m so sorry, sweetheart,” he says, and gets slowly to his feet. 

She tries to sit up, hates that she’s on the floor, but Kara keeps her in place. “Take it easy,” she says softly. 

“I have to—” she starts to say, but can’t figure out what she has to do. “Mom?” she calls, hoping, begging, demanding for Lillian to notice her. To care about her. 

Lillian looks at her, her eyes unfocused, and then she sees her, and comes to kneel beside her. “Lena,” she says, helping her sit up. They look at each other; Lena silently willing her mother to act like her mother, instead of just a woman who had to raise a daughter. 

Lillian sighs and gently smooths Lena’s hair. “Kara’s parents can take you home. I can…deal with all of this.”  
  
“I can help you,” Lena insists. “I called Lex, but he doesn’t know… He said he was going to the airport.”  
  
“Thank you. I’ll try to call him again in a little while.”

Lillian gets to her feet, and Lena scrambles after her, Kara right behind her. “Mom, you don’t have to do this alone,” she says, and Lillian’s shoulders slump. Then she holds out her hand, and Lena takes it. 

They go in to see him, to say goodbye, and all Lena can think about is blowing him off for her friends. The tears come, fat and hot and unrelenting, and her mother is caught in her own world again, so she has no one. Her grief threatens to overwhelm her, and then there is an arm around her waist. “Hey,” Kara says softly. “Sorry to intrude. I couldn’t…I couldn’t leave you alone.”

Lena turns in buries her face in Kara’s shoulder, and Kara holds her as her guilt and hurt and sadness pour out of her. 

Eventually, Lillian gently herds them out of the room and insists that Lena go home with the Danverses. “I’ll be fine,” she promises, but Jeremiah says he’ll stay and give her a ride home. 

Eliza takes the girls home, and they all sit together on the couch for a while though it’s now almost two in the morning. Alex stumbles sleepily downstairs, asking for news before she sees everyone’s faces. “Oh. Lena. I’m sorry,” she says.

"Thanks, Alex,” Lena manages, and Alex comes to sit on the floor next to Kara’s legs. 

Lena pulls Kara’s arm around her and rests her head on her shoulder. Kara gently kisses her head. “I’m here,” she promises. 

They stay together until Jeremiah comes to get Lena. She goes home to put her mother to bed and then to sit on her own bed, dry-eyed and uncomprehending at how her whole world could change in one night. 


	7. Chapter 7

She must fall asleep eventually, because the next thing she knows, it’s nine am, and her mother is calling for her. After quickly washing her face and brushing her teeth, she runs downstairs. Her mother holds out car keys, and she just blinks at her. “Lex is getting in at ten. I thought I told you.”   
   
“Uh, I don’t think so. You know I don’t actually have my license?” she asks, somewhat bewildered.   
   
“There’s too much to do here. Thank you, Lena,” her mother replies, barely hearing her, and so she drives to the airport. She takes Lillian’s car, because she can’t even bear to look at the Saab.

It isn’t until she actually pulls up to the airport that she wonders why her mother didn’t just send a car. 

Lex is waiting on the curb, clutching a suitcase, wearing a dark coat and hat. He sees her right away and climbs into the car as soon as she stops. “Just you?” he asks, and she scowls.  

“Sorry I forgot the welcoming committee.” 

Lex sighs and leans back against the seat. “Sorry,” he says shortly. “Glad it’s you,” he says some minutes later.

She can’t think of how to respond, and so they drive home in silence.  

When they get to the house, Lex goes right to find their mother, and she goes right to her bedroom. Let them deal with whatever her father has left behind.  

She lies on her bed and tries not to think about anything. There are several texts from Kara, but she can’t bring herself to read them.  

At some point, her stomach tells her she hasn’t eaten anything since dinner at Winn’s the night before, and she steals down to the kitchen. Lex is sitting at the island, staring at a glass of brown liquor, and he looks up when he hears her.    
   
“How are you, Lee?” he asks, and she is only a little surprised to see that he’s already drunk.   
   
She shrugs. “Terrible.”   
   
He nods. “You drink?” he asks, holding out the bottle of scotch.    
   
“No thanks,” she says, opening the fridge. She makes herself a turkey sandwich and then makes another and puts it in front of her brother. “Don’t drink on an empty stomach,” she says, and goes back upstairs.  

She only manages to eat half the sandwich, and in that time, four more texts from Kara pop up. Without reading any of them, she sends back, “Can’t talk now,” and throws her phone.  

It is unthinkable that her father is gone, that he’s not simply in his study avoiding her mother. She’s mad at herself for growing distant, but somewhere she knows he had his own part to play in that. Mostly, she’s mad at Lex, for ruining things for her, for leaving her, for always being their favorite.

At some point, she falls asleep, sitting up in her desk chair, and wakes with a horrible start to her door banging open. “Lena!” Lex whisper yells, and she closes her eyes.    
   
“Go to bed, Lex,” she replies.    
   
“Hang on, hang on,” he says, flopping onto her bed. “Just wanted to say…sorry.” 

“Sorry for what?”   
   
“You know, for everything. Ruining your reputation. Not being here when Dad died. Not talking to you.”   
   
She sighs and tries to swallow the eightieth round of tears to well up since the night before. “Okay,” she says, and he sits up.    
   
“Okay?”   
   
“Sure. I accept your apology. Now please go sleep this off somewhere other than my bed.”   
   
He heaves himself to his feet and staggers a little. “I did miss you,” he says, and he stumbles off to his own bedroom.  

After a minute, she finds her phone and texts Kara: “Lex is back.”

“You ok?”

“No”

“I know. I can come over?”

“Not tonight”

“Tomorrow”

“Sure”

Kara sends back a row of heart emojis, and she just can’t take it. She puts her head down on the bed and cries. After a while, she wears herself out and slips into an uneasy sleep. 

Lex wakes her in the morning and hands her a steaming cup of coffee. “Mom is asking for you,” he says almost apologetically, and she grunts. “Yeah. I know. But she wants to…plan all this ‘as a family’.”

“Nice that it took Dad’s death for her to want to be a family,” she mutters, and Lex just sighs. He looks way more than just a year older. “Is your hair falling out?” she asks, and he rolls his eyes.  
  
“Please, Lee.”

She hates the nickname coming from him. She’s grown used to only hearing it from Kara; she likes that it became something only Kara called her. But she shrugs and follows him downstairs. 

Their mother is at the dining room table, and she actually has breakfast laid out for them. Lena blinks, taken aback. “Mom? Did you cook?”

“As you might imagine, Lena, it has been difficult for me to sleep. I figured I might as well do something productive this morning.”

“Thank you,” she says quietly, and Lillian manages a smile.

She sits beside her mother and tries to eat breakfast, but everything tastes like dust. The only thing she manages to finish is her coffee. 

\--

She stands beside Lex at the end of the receiving line for what seems like years. He occasionally puts his arm around her, lets her lean on him, but there are so many people to speak with. The Luthors may not be entirely well-liked, but they’re certainly one of the town’s most prominent families. 

In what must be the second hour of the wake—though it feels like it has to be at least the fourth—the Danverses arrive, and Lena is so grateful to see their warm, familiar faces. And then she sees the Kents, just behind Jeremiah, with Clark at his mother’s side. Her eyes go wide, and she looks up at Lex, but he hasn’t seen them yet.   
  
Kara skips the line entirely and goes right to her, pulling her into her arms, so she has no time to warn her brother. But with Kara’s arms around her, she finds she doesn’t really care what happens with Clark and Lex. “Sorry I’m late,” Kara whispers, and all Lena can do is cling to her.  
  
“I’m just glad you’re here,” she says, and then Kara stations herself at her side, clearly ready to stay there until the end.  
  
It is then that Lex looks up and sees his erstwhile friend, and Lena sees the thunderclouds in his face. “Lex,” she says, tugging on his jacket. “Please.”  
  
He turns to look at her, but hardly sees her, and then he is striding toward Clark. “Get out,” he says quietly, but so forcefully that silence descends over the funeral parlor.  
  
“Alexander,” their mother calls sharply, even as she frowns at the Kents.  
  
Clark inclines his head. “I’m not here to fight. Sorry to have disturbed you,” he says softly and turns to leave.  
  
Lex stands and watches him go, and he clearly wants to say something. “How fucking dare you come here, Clark?” Lex absolutely bellows. “High and mighty Clark Kent deigning to pay his respects to a family he hates? Fuck you.”

That stops everyone in their tracks, and Lena feels something like panic rising. She can’t stay here; she can’t watch Clark and Lex implode again. Without looking at anyone, she turns and runs out of the building. The last thing she hears sounds like her mother’s voice, ordering Lex to stop. 

She watches the funeral parlor quickly empty, and then turns her back on everything. After maybe half an hour, Kara finds her, sitting alone at the end of the parking lot. The sun has set, and she has forgotten her coat inside, and it isn’t until she has Kara’s letter jacket wrapped around her shoulders that she realizes how cold she is. “Come inside,” Kara says softly, but she shakes her head. “Please, Lee. You’re freezing.”

So she follows Kara back to their families, clutching the jacket tightly around her. She is stunned to find the Kents talking with her mother, and Lex, tears in his eyes, shaking Clark’s hand. “What happened?” she asks, and Kara smiles.  
  
“They remembered that they’re friends,” she says, pleased, and Lena sighs with relief. “Although, Alex and I—and Dad and Jonathan—had to break up an almost fight. But it’s fine. It’s fine,” she assures Lena with a hopeful smile.  
  
“Okay,” Lena murmurs. 

She goes to her brother, and he hugs her, and then she turns to Clark, who offers her a gentle smile. “It’s good to see you, Lena,” he says kindly. “I’m really sorry about your dad. And…everything.”

“Thank you,” she says, trying to return his smile. 

“I hope this one hasn’t been giving you too much trouble,” he says, putting Kara in a playful headlock.

“No. She’s perfect,” Lena says, with far too much feeling, but the past few days have driven her right to the edge. Lex and Clark pretend she hasn’t said anything weird, but Kara is looking at her with an expression she can’t read. 

Their families come to collect them, everyone clearly ready to head home, and Lena leaves Kara with a sad smile.

The funeral the next day feels like one long dream she can’t make herself wake up from. Lex sits between her and their mother in the front pew until he gets up to give the eulogy. Lillian shifts over ever so slightly and takes Lena’s hand. This gesture is so out of character, Lena nearly pulls back. But instead she grips her tighter and tries to keep her tears in check. When Lex returns, he sits on her other side and takes her other hand. 

When the service ends, they get up to follow the coffin, Lex holding his mother’s arm, Lena trailing behind. Watching Lex and their mother follow their father in a box suddenly overwhelms her. The tears pour out of her eyes, and she’s not sure she’s going to make it out of the church. Then there’s a hand at her elbow and a voice in her ear whispering, “I’ve got you.” She lets Kara guide her the rest of the way. 

 


	8. Chapter 8

After the funeral, there is of course a reception for virtually the whole town at the Luthor estate. But after twenty minutes of trying to play hostess with her mother, she can’t take it anymore. This is all too much, her father—gone, Clark and Lex—speaking to each other, her mother—asking her to stand by her side. And Kara. Through it all, Kara has been right there, her shoulder to cry on, a gentle hand on her back, strong arms holding her up just when she felt like she would collapse. 

And so, as soon as she can escape the reception, she slips into the woods behind the house, and climbs up into the fort that Lex and Clark had built when they were ten. Most of it has fallen down since then, but the platform is still solid. She gets runs in her tights virtually as soon as she steps on the ladder, but it hardly matters. 

She’s only there for maybe twenty minutes, staring up at the trees and willing herself not to think about anything, before a blonde head pops up at the top of the ladder. “Lex thought you might be out here,” Kara says, pulling herself up beside her. 

“Kara, please,” Lena begs, turning away.  
  
“What?” Kara asks, clearly confused. “Do you—I mean… Okay,” she says, apparently realizing that Lena wants to be alone. She gently drapes her letter jacket over Lena’s shoulders, just as she had the evening before, and kisses her head. “Don’t stay out here too long, okay? It’s cold.”

And the tears fall fast and thick—but silently so Kara won’t stay. How does she always know what Lena needs? And if she does always know what Lena needs, why doesn’t she know this, the most important thing of all?

After a while, Lex comes to retrieve her. “Kara is in there going frantic, but she was afraid you wouldn’t want to see her,” he says, helping her down the ladder. 

“What? Why?” she demands, but he just shrugs.  
  
“What’s eating you, Lee?” he asks quietly. “There’s something besides Dad.”

She shakes her head and turns from him. “It’s just…been a long week,” she says quietly, and he puts a protective arm around her shoulders. “You’re friends with Clark again?” she asks hopefully, and he sighs.  
  
“Maybe,” he says eventually. “I don’t know. I do know there’s no point in hating him.”  
  
“Good,” Lena says, and lets him lead her back into the house.  
  
Kara is standing with Alex, Clark, and Winn in the kitchen, and she looks at her hopefully, and it is too much for Lena to take. She starts to follow Lex, but Kara is like a magnet, gently tugging her back toward the kitchen. “How are you?” Kara asks softly, but Lena just shrugs. Alex and Clark offer sad smiles, and Winn puts his hand briefly on her shoulder. She is so glad they’re all here, but she can’t find words for any of it.  
  
“I’d better go check on my mom,” she ends up saying, and the four of them nod understandingly.

She spends the rest of the afternoon helping her mother and Lex and barely sees Kara again. She hates that she’s avoiding her, but she doesn’t know how to deal with her unrequited feelings on top of everything else. 

Eventually, nearly everyone has gone home. Clark, Alex, and Kara all hug her, and Kara’s hug lingers, and she has to turn away before she starts crying. Lex is standing behind her, and he enfolds her into his arms as everyone takes their leave. “Lena,” he says quietly, “what’s going on with you and Kara?”

“Nothing, she’s my best friend,” she mutters, turning away from him. 

She goes upstairs, leaving him to help their mother say goodbye to the rest of the guests. Once she gets to her room, she realizes she’s still wearing Kara’s jacket and angrily flings it to the floor. Kara has somehow managed to be everything she’s needed, practically ever since they met, but certainly ever since Lex had made her name mud at school. And even more so this week. So why…why…is this so hard?

Sometime later, there’s a knock on her door, and she is expecting Lex, but it’s her mother with a plate of food. “You haven’t eaten anything today, Lena,” she says, and for the first time in a long time, her tone is not scolding. 

“Thanks, Mom,” she says quietly, accepting the plate. 

Her mother reaches out and smooths her hair, the movement slightly awkward, but the attempt at comfort is genuine. “If you’d like to invite Kara back over, feel free,” she offers, and Lena’s heart starts thudding. “I’m sorry I haven’t been…very welcoming.”  
  
“It’s okay,” Lena says shakily, and she manages to smile. Her mother smiles back, her face full of relief.

She doesn’t touch the food, merely sits at her desk and stares at it until there’s another knock at her door. “Hey. Can I talk to you?” Lex asks, poking his head into her room.  
  
“Yeah, of course.”  
  
He smiles and comes to sit on the end of her bed, so she turns in her chair to look at him. “You have…feelings for Kara,” he says gently, and her face flushes.  
  
“Lex, don’t,” she warns.  
  
“It’s okay, Lee,” he insists, and she just loses it.  
  
“No, it is not okay!” she yells. “She’s my only friend. And she doesn’t feel the same way, and if she knows how I feel, I will lose her.” Her deepest fear explodes out of her, and Lex sits there, stunned—but only for a moment.  
  
He stands up and hugs her to him. “Okay. I’m sorry,” he says. “But…do you know for sure she doesn’t feel the same way?”  
  
“How could she?” Lena mutters, as the tears fall down her face. She’s been crying so much the past few days, she’s amazed she even has any tears left.  
  
“What do you mean?” Lex demands. “All I saw her doing today was worrying about you.”  
  
“Yeah. Because she’s my friend.”

“Well, maybe she’s a little dense. Like her cousin,” he says, and she manages a smile. “Maybe you’re going to have to spell it out for her.”

“I can’t,” she says, shaking her head. “I can’t risk losing her.”  
  
“You can’t keep going on like this. You’ll fall apart.”  
  
“Fine. As long as I get to keep Kara.”  
  
“Lena…”  
  
“Can you go, Lex? Please? I can’t…”  
  
“Sure,” he says, and kisses her head. “I love you.”  
  
“Love you,” she replies automatically, even though it’s something they haven’t said to each other for more than a year. At least—at least this horrible week has given her her brother back. 

She stays in her room for most of the next day, ignoring entreaties from her mother and Lex to join them for meals, as well as several texts from Kara. And so she really shouldn’t be surprised when a knock comes at her door, and it’s not her mother or Lex.  
  
“Hey,” Kara says softly, letting herself into the room.  
  
“Kara, I can’t—not now,” Lena sighs, feeling nothing so much as bone tired.  
  
“Did I do something wrong?” Kara worries, and Lena sees her eyes fill with tears, and she clenches her fingers into fists. Not only is she making herself miserable, but Kara as well, and she hates it.  
  
“No, Kara,” she says evenly. “You’re perfect.”  
  
“Okay,” Kara says dubiously. “I just… Are you angry with me?” She sounds heartbroken, and Lena puts her head down on her knees. Why does she have to feel this way? Why does she have to hurt Kara and herself?  
  
“I’m not angry with you. I could never be angry with you,” she says thickly, and Kara cautiously comes to sit beside her. 

“Okay,” Kara says again, still uncertain. She settles with her back against the wall, legs tucked up under her. “You don’t have to tell me what’s wrong, but you can. If you want.”

And Lena just sighs. Of course she can’t tell Kara what’s wrong. But she also can’t deny herself the comfort of sinking into her arms. Kara draws her closer, resting one hand on her hip, and Lena closes her eyes and lets herself pretend that the way she feels won’t blow their friendship apart.  
  
“Lena,” Kara says softly, after several minutes, and something about her voice is different. There’s a hitch in her breathing, and Lena looks up at her wonderingly. Kara’s hand comes up and gently brushes leftover tears from her cheek, and Lena lets herself lean into her touch.

Her eyes flutter shut, as Kara slowly draws her head closer. And then. And then. Kara tilts her chin up and kisses her, so gently, so tentatively that Lena almost starts crying again. Everything she has been feeling—her grief, the dread, the sadness, the aching, impossible love—threatens to overwhelm her, but Kara’s hand is on her waist, anchoring her. 

“Is—was that okay?” Kara asks quietly, carefully pulling back. 

“Yes,” Lena breathes, and Kara’s smile could outshine the sun.  
  
She rests her forehead against Lena’s and smooths a gentle hand down her back. “Why didn’t you tell me?” she asks.  
  
“I thought you’d hate me,” Lena confesses, and Kara pulls her even closer, hugs her so tight she’s practically in her lap.  
  
“Never. Never, ever, ever,” she says, sounding almost fierce.

And the dam breaks, and Lena sobs into her best friend’s shoulder. Kara holds her and strokes her hair and waits for her to calm down. Eventually, she pulls away, feeling like she’s cried out every feeling she’s ever felt, and Kara is still there, smiling sweetly at her.  
  
“I thought… I thought you’d never feel the same way,” Lena admits, and Kara gently thumbs away her tears.  
  
“I never thought that this was what I was feeling—even after Alex and all. Then I thought you were going to kiss me, the night that… Well. There wasn’t a good time to bring it up after that.”

Lena laughs and rubs her eyes. “I’m sorry I was such a coward.”

“What! Lena,” Kara protests. “That’s—that doesn’t make any sense.”  
  
“I could have saved us some heartache if I’d said something earlier,” she insists, but Kara just shrugs.  
  
“Well, we figured it out. That’s all that matters,” she says with finality, and Lena smiles.  
  
“You really…” She shakes her head, still in disbelief, so Kara kisses her again, and she can actually feel her heart skip a beat.  
  
“I really,” Kara confirms, her voice soft. Lena rests her head on Kara’s shoulder again and closes her eyes. “Your mom said you haven’t been eating,” she says, her voice full of earnest concern. “Can I make you a sandwich or something?”

“In a minute,” Lena says, not ready to face reality again just yet.  
  
“Okay,” Kara says, and kisses her hair. 

And when she does return to face reality, Kara is at her side.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's all I got! Thanks, you guys, for reading and commenting. I'm glad you enjoyed this side trip into high school.


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